Timing

Well....timing is everything. After losing Phoebe, I knew I still wanted to have kids. And given that I'm not exactly a spring chicken, I knew we couldn't wait forever. Still...getting pregnant so quickly was quite a surprise! It took a little less than a year to get pregnant with Phoebe, so my plan was to start "keeping track" in the fall and see how things went. Surprise! Not so much. We conceived in late July/early August (my best guess is August 2 or 3).

Which brings us back to timing. I would not have chosen to be due in between the time Phoebe was born and when she died a month later. It makes it difficult to not constantly be making connections. When I have baby girl dreams, is that about Peanut or is it about Phoebe?

That's part of what this blog is about for me. I want to remember the details while they're fresh so I'm not trying a year later to pull some coherency out of the jumble of thoughts. And lets' face it, Mommy Brain is not helping. I'm pretty sure I used to be able to hold onto a thought for more than 3 seconds without getting distracted by something shiny...right?